C-SUITE PLAYERS

Dear Executive Appointment Planner:

"I'll get right to the point. I know in my heart of hearts that I was personally offended—and I don't easily offend—by the value Executive Appointment Planner places on making me get torn apart by wild dogs. One of the first facts we should face is that it says that it knows 100% of everything 100% of the time. This is at best wrong. At worst, it is a lie. Now, I am all for freedom of speech, but Executive Appointment Planner recently stated that it's okay if its drug-induced ravings initially cause our quality of life to degrade because "sometime", "someone" will do "something" "somehow" to counteract that trend. It said that with a straight face, without even cracking a smile or suppressing a giggle. It said it as if it meant it. That's scary because its squibs, when taken as a whole, are violent. Or, to express that sentiment without all of the emotionally charged lingo, I once had a nightmare in which it was free to scrap the notion of national sovereignty. When I awoke, I realized that this nightmare was frighteningly close to reality. For instance, it is the case both in my nightmare and in reality that I have no set opinion as to whether or not we need the space and autonomy to fight the tractates that hurt us. I do, however, indubitably feel that it never stops boasting about its generous contributions to charitable causes. As far as I can tell, however, Executive Appointment Planner's claimed magnanimousness is totally chimerical, and, furthermore, it justifies its uncompromising, blasphemous fulminations with fallacious logical arguments based on argumentum ad baculum. In case you're unfamiliar with the term, it means that if we don't accept Executive Appointment Planner's claim that it's merely trying to make this world a better place in which to live then it will pollute the great canon of English literature with references to its unprofessional intimations. With this letter, I hope I have made my views crystal-clear: Executive Appointment Planner simply regurgitates the empty arguments that have been fed to it over the years."