WE LIKE TO PLAY IT BACK

Alex Lam - Supreme Ruler of all that is Glue
Rank: Admin and Head of Secret Santa Commitee
-Going by the alias "Dexom Mulf", Mr. Lam has proved time and time again as an expert in pokemon battling as well as dance floor hoe downs. He currently resides in Chinatown with his pet goldfish, Jimmy.
NOTE ALEX IS CURRENTLY BEING CHARGED FOR KNOWLEDGE OF THE GAY PURPLE HAMSTER. THEREFORE HIS RANK AS ADMIN HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY STRIPPED. HE REMAINS AS HEAD OF THE SECRET SANTA COMMITEE.

Carmen Car-us-one - Double Penetrating Sergent Corporal Private General Master Dandy Stud Professional
Rank: Admin and Verified Cat Owner
-As the owner of cat, Mr. Carusone has no other duties except to take care of cat. He currently is working on his upcoming novel, World War 13.

Joe Giannini - Head of Banana Inspection
Rank: Admin
-As a master banana inspector, Mr. Giannini has developed multiple forms of banana sex, and in effect, created the idea of plant sex. He is renowned as a hero to all plants in the world.

Darren Raposas- Useless piece of Garbage we don't need
Rank: Owner
-Mr. Raposas is the head of our organization. He shows remarkable skill in strategy, and co-founded the concept of Metagame with Pyrion Flax.

Cat - Sparkles Fluffykins McGoo
Rank: Head of Furry Softness Distribution
-Born onto a black father and a white mother, Cat is recognized as a medium between both races. She displays remarkable skills in basketball, but is also extremely intelligent.

Josh - A Giraffe
-Mr. Whyubull is has shown great mastery over gmod tactics. Josh is the result of the group's experiment to create a human-giraffe hybrid. While shunned by society he is still a prominent member of the group.

Wyan - Worthless piece of ♥♥♥♥ that leaves in the middle of a Dota game.
-*DATA EXPUNGED*

Jay - *Has not been granted access to Title
-A mysterious entity only referred to by his codename "Erik Bingleton"

Sean - Small Man Muscles
-Sean is most recognized as the driving force that won the 1911 Uganda Dota 2 semi-open closed circuit B division, being the only one to enter the competition.

Kevin - Who is this?

REQUIREMENTS TO BE IN GROUP

1. Know at least one of the current group members.
2. Have the approval of at least 3 moderators and/or administators.
4. Not suck ♥♥♥♥. Seriously.
5. Notice that there's no three. If you haven't noticed, get out. Now.
6. Bake me a batch of cookies ♥♥♥♥♥ JK

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RECENT ANNOUNCEMENTS

lil dumb ass asian ♥♥♥♥♥ (dexom's diary # whatever the ♥♥♥♥ im probably not making another for another 2 years)

21 May, 2018 - Moist Lotion | 1 Comments

this lil dumb ass asian ♥♥♥♥♥ walks into the pharmacy like:
"ay yo, gimme my drugs"
I was like: "aight bro, just lemme get yo name"
n i go to the computer n find out who this ♥♥♥♥♥ is.
after like 10 seconds this ♥♥♥♥♥ was like: "bruh, where my drugs at"
i was like: "ay hold on man, only been like 10 seconds"
so then i go on my way gettin this lil ole asian lady her drugs

i get everything situamated, n bring her the good ♥♥♥♥ in a bag.
she says, "what in the bag"
"♥♥♥♥♥, its yo damn drugs the ♥♥♥♥ u think in the bag, a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ car?"
"oh ard." she look in the bag, brings out a bag of cocaine, n some o that good kush.
then she says, "AY YO HOL UP WHERE MY COCAINE AT"
i was ♥♥♥♥♥♥ confused cuz this lil ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ holdin up a bag of cocaine, and askin where the cocaine at.
so i said, "yo, u a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ or what? u got that ♥♥♥♥ in ur hand."
she say "BUT THIS AIN'T THE RIGHT KIND OF COCAINE"

BRUH ITS THE SAME ♥♥♥♥ I YO ASS GOT LAST TIME. U WANT ME TO ♥♥♥♥♥♥ SPIT IN IT? WOULD IT BE THE RIGHT KIND THEN?

so then i took the bag of coke to the back room and spit in it.
then i handed it to her, and let her go on her way.

I swear this isn't about me ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ kids (Dexom's Diary #77)

1 July, 2017 - Moist Lotion | 0 Comments

♥♥♥♥ kids.

Not in a pedophilic way, but in the way that you just wanna punt their little heads across a football field into a giant pile of ♥♥♥♥, which then turns into quicksand causing them to slowly sink into a messy whirlwind of diarrhea.

Yeah, that way.

I was just sitting at home today, mindin' my own business and jackin' off, when suddenly the loudest mother ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ alarm I've ever heard in my life goes off. It was like the walls of my apartment became sentient and started screaming at me for jacking off in the middle of the day. I had just about ♥♥♥♥ my pants. Though, to be fair, not the first time i ♥♥♥♥ my pants while masturbating. \

I quickly made my way outside my apartment, and found that it was not just my own apartment that had suddenly evolved lungs and a mouth, but the entire apartment building as well. By this time, most of the building's residents had also made their way out of the building and across the street. Like me, they were all confused. However, unlike me, all of them had pants on.

Eventually, the alarm subsided, and everyone re-entered their homes and went about their depressing lives. However, not I.

I wanted to know.

Who was the foul villain that pulled the alarm?

I had to know.

I was already erect at the prospect of catching this evildoer. My justice boner was compounded by the fact that I didn't even get to finish jerking off before this incident.

With haste I made my way towards the building's security room. Like a snake, I slithered my way through the cracks of the room's door because ♥♥♥♥ you. I propped myself down in front of the camera feeds and went searching

And suddenly, my dreams were shattered.

IT WAS JUST A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ KID.

As quickly as my boner came, it died, shriveled up and retracted itself into my testicles.

I expected something more. I expected a demon with dark black skin, yet also with bright white teeth. I expected him with a slice of watermelon and piece of chicken in hand, laughing at me as he ran away faster than any white man could run. I expected him to taunt me with colloquialisms native to residents in poor inner-city areas, and say:
"Whatchu gon' do 'bout it lil' ♥♥♥♥♥?"

I was not satisfied. So I went home, jacked off, and am now writing this entry covered in used tissues, moist lotion, and my own salty tears.