Welcome to the Aperture-Science Testing Program

Hello my name is GLaDOS and welcome to the Aperture-Science Testing Program, At the end of tHellhe program you will recieve free cake. You will be put through a series of test that will challenge your mental and physical abilities. There are three pillars of rules, They are as follow: Pillar one: Science without results is just witchcraft.
Pillar two: Get results or you're fired.
Pillar three: if you suspect a coworker of bein' a witch, report them immediately. I cannot stress that enough. Witchcraft will not be tolerated. Science must have results. END OF TRANSMISSION. Complete all tasks assigned and you will recieve cake. As an automated feature I am required to tell you that any injury or death is not the responsibility of Aperture-Science. MESSAGE RECIEVED: Did I mention there would be cake.